Fingernails That Shine Like Justice

I felt the unbearable urge to put my hands in the dirt today.


I went outside and plunged my fingers into the moist ground. It felt fantastic. I felt like a child as I dug a hole. I took a plant outside that had been previously dying, I believe the pot was too small. When I released it from it's capture I saw the roots all twisted into knots. I broke apart the long white tentacles and placed it into it's new home. I have a feeling it will still die. I just needed an excuse to plunge my hands into the earth.

My Left Eye Is Drunk

My sincerest apologies go to those of you who I may have weirded out Saturday night.

Mass Appeal Madness

I went to pick up a friend Friday night to go over to Washington's Landing.

We went there to met up with other people to go out for the night. We arrived and waited for a few members of our party to finish getting ready. Once they had finished primping we took to the streets. We arrived first at Tequila Willies on the boardwalk. The music was pumping and drinks were only $1 until midnight. We hit the floor as soon as we walked in. It was a grand time. There were several aesthetically pleasing young ladies dancing on the bar all night. Much to my amusement they dropped millions of bubbles on the dancing masses as they played 'Like A Prayer.' Soon after midnight we headed out to our next adventure.

We left Tequila Willies and went to the Iguana Bar. It was quite lame. A member of our party was meeting some friends from school. So we all tagged along and had some drinks in the quiet of the bar. It was a nice little break for the evening since Tequila Willies had gotten bowel shaking loud.

After we left Iguana Bar we headed over to the Tiki Lounge for some more loudness and dancing. As we were dancing I believe I saw a few young ladies pointing and laughing at me. I could be mistaken, but I was unfazed by the encounter. I was having too good of a time to care. I'm sure they were laughing at my fantastic dancing.

We left Tiki Bar at closing time and went to an after hours club called the Shadow Lounge. They were spinning some undulating house beats when we walked in and it instantly became one of my favorite places. Once the DJ was done spinning the house he went into 'Erotic City' and I was out on the floor once again. Around 3:45 I decided to head out, I was exhausted from the night of non-stop dancing.

Merrily We Roll Along

I was recently inclined to re-read 'Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas.' I don't however own a copy of it, so I've yet to fill my yearning heart. If anyone has a copy that they would be willing to lend a very trustworthy book owner feel free to let me know.

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where
thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side"
-Hunter S. Thompson

NASA

I was refueling my Dodge Spirit today at Shell. I read today that Shell is supplied by the many oil exporters in the Middle East. I can't help it, Shell is the only gas that doesn't make my engine chug. It's hard to keep my 10 year old engine running smoothly enough as it is. After 135,000 miles I have to stick with what works. I apologize to America for my treason.

While I was getting gas I saw a middle aged woman pull up to the pump across from me. She got out. Swore. Got back in. Turned her car around. Apparently her fuel door had been secretly moved to the other side of the car since the last time she drove. Sneaky vandals.

I don't fault her. Several factors could have tore at her mind at the time. It might not even be her car. I have to say that I was proud to see her so effortlessly get in the car, and turn it around. Too many times I've seen someone get out of the car, swear, get back in, and pull away. They don't even bother getting gas. They figure that they've been defeated by the gas station and they will try back another time. For those that don't get totally flustered and drive away sad and beaten, they generally need a crew of NASA engineers to figure out how to turn the car around to get the pump to line up with the fuel door.

Fake Blood

I let a friend of mine read a short description of how I felt the other night. I was severely depressed for some reason. It came over me quite rapidly and the only way I could escape it was to write. As she read what I had written she of course made the observation that it was quite dismal. She also mentioned that it seemed as if I was holding something back. I began pondering that comment. She then commented on how my writing seemed to lack personal details and the reason for these feelings.

It seemed to strike a nerve in my mind. I remembered that as a little boy I would write in my journal about my various adventures and crushes feeling fairly free to express names and insignificant details. I also remember a few years later that I went back through the journals and began scratching the names out of my previous entries. I think back on that now and wonder why? What was I trying to hide from myself? What secrets was I trying to keep myself from finding out? Did I not want anyone to mistakenly find these and have them fall into the wrong hands? Did I hid the identities of aforementioned people for their safety and protection? Was I just trying to keep more things about me a secret?

I've been trying to write everyday, in journal form, lyric form, story form, anything to get my thoughts and hands working in conjunction to put out to the Universe. My writing can seem to lack personal details though, it may be all superficial narration. I'm writing only what's on the surface.

I want people to read what I write and I want them to enjoy what it is that I have to say. I'm quite weary of writing personal details in certain things. Maybe I like seeming mysterious. Maybe I'm truly afraid to be known, even to myself. Maybe I'm talking out of my ass.

Harm or Foul

I want everyone who reads my inner thoughts to know that I don't post them to be mean, to ridicule, or to be hurtful. I'm just expressing my opinions on how I see things. I know my views are somewhat askew and my opinions might seem odd, but that's all they are, simple thoughts and feelings. These are stories about how I see and explain things in my life. The truth lies in between my views and reality.

Wings & Wal-Mart

I went to Wal-Mart the other night. It was an unpleasant experience as a whole. The person who asked me along seemed to be very uninterested that I was there, bring the question to mind, 'Why was I asked to join in your pilgrimage?' Since those questions get me in trouble I chose to keep my question in my mind.

I dislike Wal-Mart very much. The vastness of it makes me miserable as soon as I walk in. Once I enter I feel as though I'm bombarded with shapes and colors, sounds and smells. My mind can't focus on everything so it just turns in on itself until I leave. While wandering around this vast warehouse of soullessness I began seeing the faces of all the shiftless employees and the patrons. Everyone I saw seemed to look precisely how I was feeling. Another observation I made was that the majority of the population were couples. Husbands, fiances, or boyfriends being led around the store like children in search of a 500 pack cotton balls and Nylon camping chairs. My quest was a similar one. I was taken around the store to find St. Patrick's Day tights. They of course had to be the perfect shade of green, which apparently doesn't exist. When the green tights were unavailable I made the suggestion of buying white tights and dying them. A semi smart move on my part, for then we needed to search for the perfect green dye. The dye, like the green tights, didn't exist. We then left, half of us had our hopes dashed and evening ruined by the lack of St. Patrick's Dayness and the other half was happy to be rid the soulless building. I've ridden down the river styx and seen what lies upon the shore.

Non Sequiturs

I was sitting around thinking to myself and all the sudden a funny thought just popped into my head. I said out loud to the universe, 'I think I'll name my next band Big Ray Sneed & the Non Sequiturs.' At which point I found myself very amusing. As it stands I was one of the only people that find my self amusing or interesting. I told a few people about my little joke and no one seemed to enjoy it on the same level. I had to go forth and explain why it was funny. I went onto explain that my old band was called Big Ray Sneed & the Quitters. Then further explain what a non sequitur was. Once the explanations were done the amusement was sucked out of my thought and I was left a mere shell of a jokester.

Get Them Face Down & Kitty Up

I heard that line while I was watching Sealab 2021 last night. I could hardly contain myself. [adult swim] is a fantastic way to spend your Sunday night.

Phone Sax

I had a phone audition today for a spot playing on a Princess Cruise. It's been a few years since I've done anything that has required an audition and I must say I was just a little bit nervous. It got off on the wrong foot already because I thought I was waiting for a call but in fact I was to be the initiator of the call. So I called and we started a little late due to my own inability to follow directions. The fellow was very pleasant and supporting and walking me through the audition as he was supposed to do. He had emailed me music last night for me to sight read today over the phone. I of course did for the most part sight read them all, I of course looked at them, but didn't really play them.

I played the Tenor piece with very few discrepancies, of course I made a few nervous errors but other than that he said it was were it needed to be. My Clarinet piece had slightly more errors. I feel I could have done it a great deal better and so did he. My Flute playing was horrendous. I knew that going in. I tried so hard to think positively about it but that can only help so much.

It's very hard switching between three very different instruments. Your mind needs some time to decompress. In the end I have no one to blame but myself. I haven't put the work in, and I know that wholeheartedly. I'm glad that my Tenor playing was good, or this whole entry would be of a very depressing nature. I know what I need to do, and I will work for it these next few months and set up another audition. So it goes.

We Were Promised Hover Cars

I'm not sure how the gas prices are fluctuating everywhere else in the country but in Pittsburgh low grade is $1.95 and has been promised to increase by $.25 quite soon. Have we learned nothing from Back To the Future II? Where is Mr. Fusion? I thought cars were going to be powered by refuse? Weren't we promised these things? Hover boards, self sizing jackets, laceless shoes, wearing two neck ties, thumbprint doorknobs?

All The Lazy Days Are Gone

Yesterday was quite productive being the day of rest and all. I managed to frustrate myself almost regularly throughout the day dealing with wireless technology. I struggled trying to set up some sort of range expander for my wireless network. I feel that I have a mild to moderate knowledge of machines and the inner workings of electronics yet I still could not get the damn thing to work. How are people with no knowledge of these things whatsoever going to get them working when all the instructions they get at the store are just plug it in and it should work. The operative word there is SHOULD. I don't want a should. After hours of the device deciding to work and then not work for no apparent reason. I decided to box it back up and return it. I don't want to hug electronics and speak kind words to encourage them to work. I don't want the machine to decided whether or not it wants to work. I've said several times to several people that you must be smarter than the machine to operate the machine. I feel that still applies here, I am smarter because I am going to return the machine and get my money back.

Panty Raid

I went down to The Upstage last night for a 'Panty Raid.' Apparently this is a party that happens every so often. The gist of the party is you pay $5 to get in with pants or $4 sans pants. I decided to go the with pants, although I was contemplating all week whether or not to go sans pants. My dilemma was heavily influenced by the fact that there is only a $1 difference in price. Had it been free admission to those going pantsless I would have had my decision made for me. I must say that had I not just bought several smashingly fancy new clothes I would have definitely gone without the pants.

The other reason I went to the 'Panty Raid,'(as if I needed one) was to hear my friend DJ. He played some old school 90's which were money, and some obscure 80's which I wasn't particularly digging but I was dancing nonetheless. I wasn't really feeling it until I heard Jamiroquai's 'Canned Heat.' After that song was played I was up dancing. However I hadn't danced in awhile so I did take frequent breaks.

As the night progressed more and more women and men ended up in their respective underwear. I was almost coerced into it but I rethought since I was wearing boxer briefs. So I continued dancing with the half nude women of The Upstage until around 1:30 when it was clear to me that my ride wanted to leave. So I left and have no idea what the party was like after I did. Odds are it got crazier and crazier.

Paper towel roll vases for mothers day

I went out with a friend and got a lot of new clothes tonight. I feel very accomplished with my new style.

Check out http://kenhess.blogspot.com

New & Improved

I have the unsettling feeling that I'm being phased out. I'm the last model back in the stock room and people keep walking by. No one seems interested looking at me. I've been replaced by several better models and now I fear I'll be on the clearance table soon. Apparently I'm a product that people only want to use sometimes. My best is no longer a match for the newer models that you walk past and see everyday. I apparently take too much of an effort to find back in the stock room. So it goes.