Saturday, April 30, 2005

Coco Nuts?

I was just told that I'm like a coconut.

'You know there is something good in there but you cant get to it. Then you try and try to break it open then give up. Then after it just rolls of the table and opens by itself, but you already ate another fruit and are full.'

Impressive analogy, even if it saddens me.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Little People

'Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside'
-Rita Rudner

I was hanging out with one of my ex-girlfriends last night who happens to be pregnant. She looked great actually. Majestic almost. We talked for about an hour and a half about pregnancy and all of the fascinating things that have happened and are still happening in her body. I was, as usual, hungry for knowledge and very intrigued by the goings on. She told me that her boyfriend didn't seem to care to know as much as I did. I guess I'm just fascinated by things I don't know about.

We were talking about breast feeding and she showed me her breast pump. I felt like a little kid who just ran down the stair on Christmas morning. I was very intrigued with it. It is in all reality a freaky looking device that basically turns 'Mom' into a dairy cow. I enjoyed reading the instructions and playing with the milker.

After we talked for awhile we got some food and just as she was about to eat the baby started moving. She told me that the baby started moving when she knew she was going to get some food. It was amazing. She let me feel the baby as she was turning inside of her. I was so impressed at this whole process I almost felt a fatherly pride swelling up inside of me. I'm not anxious to have kids but I hope to someday.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Slave To The Words I Lack

Apparently everyone in the world has gone to Berklee.

Atleast for a semester or two. Whenever someone asks where I went to school they always respond with, 'Oh yeah, I know 100 people that went there.'

I recently started bringing guitar back into my practice sessions. It's not that I want to get better, I just want more developed forearms.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

The Q Grill

I was flipping through the channels while I was taking a short break from practicing.

I happened upon an infomercial about a product called the Q Grill. I was amazed with the efficiency in which they get the message across. Within the first 2 minutes I watched I saw the basic elements of the infomercial, the overly excited host that asks stupid questions, the overly excited inventor(s), the overly excited example of why their product is superior, and overly excited live testimonials. They leave out one very important part, the overly excited TV watcher.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005


I sat in my room last night learning all of the songs on the 'Less Than Jake' albums I have.

It felt good to know that my ears still work. Most of their horn parts are nice and simple as well as melodic. I originally sat down to play some Bach etudes but decided to put on some 'Reel Big Fish' and jam over some songs I already new.

Right before I started playing I downed a Mocha Frap from Starbucks. I have to confess that I haven't been drinking coffee. It's been about 4 months since I've had a cup. For some reason that Mocha Frap got me crazily wired. It felt great. Then after I was done playing my right hand was twitchy and I couldn't sit still. Apparently after months of no caffeine I've become quite a light weight.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I Love The Garden State

I saw a beat up Chevy Lumina van with some Wal-Mart Spinners on it.

As promised I'll be posting some Pirate game pictures. They've been liberated!

I ruined this one. I swear I wasn't trying to grab her breast. I was trying to display the 'Pirates' writing. I feel horrible about ruining this one with my gesture and my gut.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Powers of Baseball

I went to a Pirate game on Saturday night.

Unfortunately I forgot to grab my camera. Fortunately I usurped a friends camera and took pictures of the evening. Unfortunately I've yet to yield to fruits of my toil since she has the pictures imprisoned on her camera still. I must release those brave photos! I will try and post the game pictures in future messages.

Our group of 10 began our night at Hi-Top's, a bar across the street from PNC Park. Iron City Beer was $4 a pounder which I thought was outrageous until we went to the game and found that it was $6.75. I opened a window behind my table and saw that there was no screen, so naturally we began yelling at Cubs fans that walked by, unaware where the yelling was coming from, very few actually looked up. We just used jocular 'Boo's' and 'Go homes.' We aren't that brave and we are definitely quite non threatening, even as a group.

The game was great, the weather was perfect, and seats were fantastic. We began our yelling and screaming for the Pirates and yelling at screaming at the Cubs. I kept yelling at the organist to play 'Baby Elephant Walk,' but alas she didn't hear me. There were a bevy of Cubs fans sitting in the section below ours so we were having a good time taunting them from above. Even the Pirates fans in the same section were looking up to us to yell down to them. The Cubs won the game, but we didn't care that much, we had a blast. I had my Primanti's Sandwich and I was happy. Even though the $6 sandwich cost less than the beer.

We retired to William Penn Tavern, or as i like to think of it now, 'The Office.' Enjoyed the evening further and the prices even more so. Once you've had a $6.75 Miller Lite, it's nice to have a few free Ketel One and Soda's. After a few hours of hanging out at the bar listening to several tunes we put on, most of which were 'Reel Big Fish' songs, we gathered the convoy to go home. I dropped some friends off, and said my goodbye's to a very fantastic & memorable evening.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Sin City

I saw 'Sin City' the other night.

The visuals and cinematography were very intriguing...for the first 10 minutes. When I was asked by some friends if I liked it, I stopped. Thought. Kept on thinking. I've come to the conclusion that there is no answer to that question. The short answer is 'No' followed by a 'But' and the long answer is 'Yes' followed by 'Perhaps.' The movie was rife with celebrities jumping aboard the comic book movie bandwagon. I can say that I definitely liked the section with Clive Owen & Benicio Del Toro. I can also say that the Elijah Wood chapter was, to say the least, quite freakish. I wish I had better words to describe the movie but none of it stuck in my mind long enough to make any sense.

As we left the theater I looked around at the other patrons. We all shared the same look. A look of confusion and distress.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Tremendous Brunettes

I saw a girl down at the bar Thursday night.

She was very easy on the eyes. She was with two other ladies who were similarly attractive. While her companions went to the bathroom she was left to her own devices. If I was a different man I'm sure I would have gone up to her and talked to her. Instead I sat there getting ready to do it as my heart pounded and my palms sweated. As I was contemplating approaching the lone vixen her friends came back and then my chance had passed. If I was a smart man I would learn a lesson from that experience. I guess we'll have to see if I can pick up what the universe is putting down.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Street Corner Game, Pat Sajak

Apologies to all of those who were hoping to see me with a ZZ Top style beard. I've shaved.

Sunday, April 03, 2005


I went to see 'Faust' with a friend last night.

The opera was spectacular. It was written by Charles Gounod in 1859 and the music was fantastic. I felt the story could have been told entirely through the music with very little need of dialogue. The man playing Mephistopheles created a very vivid portrayal of the devil. Very likable. I enjoy the common perception of the devil. Charming. Funny. Charismatic. I think that makes the devil feel real. More human.

After the opera I proceeded to make a fool of myself.